The Finnish paradox

Yesterday, the Netherlands displayed one of the few outbursts of nationalism. Appart from winning a sports final, we don't show our national flag and deffintly not go dressed in our national colour. But there is one festivity that has it all: Koningsdag (Kingsday) were we celebrate the birthday of our monarch. This fest is previously known as Koninginnengan (Queensday). But now we have a king so we change the name accordingly. Also we changed the date so it's corsponding with his actual birthday. During the day, we Dutchies are all dressed in orange and Dutch flags are seen everywhere. Also we decorate them with an orange wimple so people can see we celebrate something of great importance to us. This is one of the few displays of national proud we have here.

This is somewhat like a certain place in Europe. A scorum shaped country next to a penis shaped country, Norway and Russia called Finland has also nothing to be proud of. At least if you have to believe the locals called Finns. They say Finland is too cold, too wet and too far north for worth visiting. The Finns always doubting if you don't mix them up with Sweden. No they don't tyhmät Suomelaisia, there are people who like Finland as much as you do, so no need of doubting of questioning. While all Finns are suffering from a nationwide low self esteem, they don't mind to rub there flag into your face on every occesion they have. Finland has more flagdays then citizens and you can't believe the national days they have. Here is a short summary of the important ones (translated): Independance day, day of Finnish language, day of Finnish poetry, Kalevala day, Day of Finnish music, Kantele day, Mämmi day, Sauna day, Day of the moose, Finnish veterans day, Finnish flag day, Midsummer, Vappu, Finnish lake days, Christmas and every Finn has it's own naming day.

No Finns have nothing to be proud of in Finland, they still sincerly wonder why their ancestors decided to settle there and not somewhere else. But still they hang their flags out and display a national proud on every oppertunity they get...

Then you can better live in a country mother nature tries to drow on every occasion she get's, thats why we are quiet and hope she doesn't notice us again.

Fångad av en stormvind

Summer is comming! But before that we have springvibes! Everyone gets happy and excited. Also the stores start celling icecream again. We don't have that luxury like the Finns we can buy icecream all year long. So we are happy again. Also most Dutchies dream to go en mass to the westside of the country to lie down with hunderds of others while sunbathing. Yeah the Dutch are getting happier and happier. In al this excitement we all forget the one thing which is as everlasting in the Netherlands as the air we breath: WIND!

We have wind when we go outside to

• walk
• run
• crawl
• bike
• roll
• drive
• swim
• jump
• travel by train
• wink
• smile
• cry
• confront the snow
• face the rain
• fly
• complain
• study
• make pizza
• dig
• drill
• work
• die
• give birth
• to be born
• play
• kill
• chop a tree
• wank
• fuck
• rape
• murder
• help
• safe a life
• get sick
• get better
• come out of the closet
• get dressed
• go on a date
• have a drink
• going out
• pass out
• die out
• get extincted
• baptize
• have periods
• climb a tree
• reclaim land from the sea
• ride a horse
• fare
• eat
• drink
• all the other things you can do outside

So as you can see we are always confronted by the wind what ever we do outiside, no matter how small the given task is. Wind is always there in our life. So don't get mad if we don't feel the wind in your country. Our wind is sometimes strong enough to knock us from our bike or tipple over a truck. We are also not familiar with the concept of no wind, also the idea of having no wind at all scares us a little. Even we will never ever admitt it. We just say we hate it and secretly adore it. As with winds, to hate is to love.

We dont like the wind what is comming from your ass, that kind of wind you can enjoy when you are alone. But please, not with us We are not that much of a wind lovers.  

The Bittersweet Symphony

In Finland, no one cares that you have blue, red, green or no hair. If you have a tattoo, a lot of them or a sleeve. Also they don't care if you have a piercing or 10, they are just happy the way they are. Aside from the fact Finns are too shy to even comment on them in the streets, they don't really care. For them, it doesn't really matter how you look, as long as you are doing your job right, live a respectful life. No Finns come in all their viarity and no one really cares. Of course there is some bullying here and there, but in compersion to other countries it is not that much.

In the Netherlands we hold the ideal high you can examine a person compleetly by it's lookings. Hair dyed in a non-natrual hair collour? Then you are weird, strange and could best be ignored or called names. Do you want to become a social worker? The fewer piercings and tattoo's, the better you will be in your job. You like rock or metal? Despite that all possible research says you have probably a very high inteligence level, Dutchies think you are too stupid to work and you could better be home and unemployed. We think you are weird and non-standard? You could better be in heavy psychiatric clinics or council sessions.

Luckily, the Netherlands and Finland embrace diffrences in all their weirdnes'. Even though we not always want to admit this, it is some kind of guilty plesure for us. Also I'm happy to know that most countries and people on this world think the same way. There are also people we don't like weird people or their beliefs, ideas or values. That's ok, we can't agree with everything on this world but as long we accept and respect each other we come a long way. But today, we are all once remindend that there are people who mis the abbility to do that. Once again people have to miss, family, loved once and like me friends. This time it is in Brussels, Belgium, but before that it was Ankara, Turkey and Paris, France and too much more before that. And all this 24 year old Dutch weirdo can wonder, is when does this all end and can we be happy once more like we did once before.

The divine order of the chuckoo

I think that at the moment I have nothing to complain, my thesis is going well and also my school work is ahead of schedule in the tasks I do alone. In the groupwork we are on schedule, so no complaining there. Also my social life in the Netherlands is as good as it used to be, although there are still some Finns missing in it. But luckily I know a country full of them, so if my witdrawal disease gets to bad I can go to there.

But in a weird twist of irony my universaty is holding me back at the moment. I notice I'm working quicker then school planned. I already ready with my litratureresearch and Im ready to start with the actual research and warp it all up. But nooooo school doesn't want that. I have to work according to the program and wait and be social towards my fellow students. Well I don't want to be fucking social, that I attend a social education doesn't mean a thing. I just want to be anti-social and selfish. Just because I can. Sometimes being social is really tiredsome you know. And I only want to be tired after sports.

Since I'm back, I noticed how rushed everyone is. But the fun part is that most people don't do a thing. They are being stressed they have to do this and that and have to that in time, but in the end they miss the deadlines. But they still stress away and cry occasionally. Some people are really stressed by the workload and this is overcomming them and I feel sincerlly sorry for them and I wish I could help them. But then I remember I'm a stuborn anti-social weirdo and I don't want to. When Í'm reminding myself of that, I'm already helping the other. I'm just to social for my own good. On the other hand, I help people with no expatation of getting help back. I help people to satisfy my own selfish desire to be known as the silent social kid. That I can make someone happy during this is their win, not mine. Although I also got happy when I see happy people, so that reaction also satisfies my desires. And so in a weird way, we all are selfish and help other satisfy each others desires.

But sometimes, people have to learn it doen't takes always two to tango. Sometimes you can dance on your own. Because you can't always rely on others. I found that one out myself the hard way. But now it is only one thesis and some months away I haven proven I teach others the skills to ask for help and to help themselfs. Because there already too much people in the world who are disappointed in life, let's show them they can appreciate it again. With al it's weird thingies and ways. Because that is how simple life is, the sum of the positive and negative aspacts. And for us social workers and people it is the task that people always have a little bit more positive things then negatives things, without denying a thing.

'Till it happens to you

I've been beaten, harressed, insulted and scared. I lived most of the time in the dark valley of life picking up pieces of shattered glass. While life threathen me hard, I continue to walk futher. Since sitting on the ground doesn't bring you somewhere. But later I discovered that dancing through life is much more fun, so that is what I did. I met some awesome friends, who later exited my life again. Some of them even exited life itself. But since my musiclists Always has a new song to play, I continued. Even when I heard a song again or the song was really sad. Because there is always a happy song comming along soon enough. And there I walk through life with in-ears in and dancing through life.

Unfortuneally, I can't hide every scar which is on my soul. For some I wish I could, for some I wish I don't have to. I live in a society where complaining about your past is regarding weird, people don't want to hear your though stories. I think it reminds them too much about the darks side of life. But without the darkness, you don't see the light. Also my education doesn't help either. As social councilings worker you see people at their worst. Which I don't care, I had my worse episodes too. But teachers and clasmates have weird paradoxal standard on that one. If you don't want to talk about your past, you are in denial of your problems. If you talk about your problems, you have one.  In either way, you are not suitible for the job. You even get a grade how good you can deal with your emotions and your past. This is what society has become: we f*cking grade everyting. Like I choose the get a scar or two in life.

I choose to make the scars on my soul a little more revealing for others. I let others punch wholes through my skin and put a jewel in. Because a scare is a nasty thing, but it is how you threaten it how it stands in life. I choose to make every scare a little powerplant which helps me through life. But how many I have of them is not for everyone to know, because I need to be a little mysterious every now and then. Sometimes I make a new one, so the others have to work less hard. But also every hard moment needs his own little memorial. But don't worry after this all depressive whining, I have a lot of happy moments to. Without them I never came this far. But when I like to spread the happines across the world, but I have a tendancy to keep the less happy things for myself.

When the struggle is real

My life is slowly getting into the normal working rythem it supossed to be in. But I also noticed again that the Dutch education system and me are not compatible. I have sometimes a to strong opinion, so  may end up in discussion. Which I sometimes really enjoy and sometimes hate because the discussion is for the sole purpose of the discussion, which is really annoying. Because some how Dutch folks need discussion, otherwise they die. Dutch. Always have to voice their opinions, even if you don't want to hear it. I admit right away I have a strong opinion about things as well, but I don't push right in to someone's throaght. I enjoy hearing someone's opinion, because it gives me new views and insides on to my own. Also a valued lesson I learned in Finland is that you also can ignore someone to dead, instead of killing him/her with your arguements.

I'm also supprised to notice how big thing it is become that LGBT refugees are harrest and bullied in asylum centers and no one seems to really know what to do. I think it is a shame (and a big one too!) that we let this to go so out of controle. What did the goverment excpect? Oh they hate gays in Syria but now they are here they start hugging them? It's not our water what makes people tolerant to LGBT's you know... We should start educate people right away when they come here about our libral standings. Refugees really don't Always realise we are even more liberal than people say we are, also not everyone knows that the Netherlands excist, just look at some Americans who think the Netherlands is part of Germany... For a country who says that it is a shining pink beacon for LGBT rights we have a exaple to made. We are tolerant to all kind of people, let's give this message to them. After the war they have a country to rebuild, how awesome would it be that they can do it al togheter, because they learned to do so in our refugeecenters. Building together instead of fighting eachother, what a wonderfull thought. And then we can think: "if they can do it in Syria and Iraq, why can't we do it in Europe (and in the Netherlands)". Not looking at the differences, but what united us and makes us better then when we are alone...

I dreamed of Finland last night

I had a dream... of a place full of magic and wonders. Where the people talk a mysterious language. And are so faithfull they don't even thing of breaking the law and walk through the red traffic light. The land of moomins and angry birds. A new adventure awaits behind every tree in every forest. Every winter the place becomes a winter wonderland and every summer you find there the ultimate summer feeling. People overthere have blue, green, red, white, black, brown, blond or no hair. The best thing is that this place excist and it is called Finland.

I went to school this week, but it was not the same. They all spoke Dutch and it was in Zwolle, not in Turku or Helsinki.
I had to work this week, but it was not the same. It was harsher, more direct an not in Turku or Kokkola.
Even the radio wasn't the same, they were whining about sex, drugs and weird stuff and it was full of Dutch dj's, commercials and English music. But no Finnish at all, not even a word.
Even the sauna I have to miss, it is way to expensive and I can't go whenever I want.

I guess it is true what they say. Finland is where dreams come true. You can get someone out of Finland, but you never ever can get Finland out of a person.

And now al together:

Oi maamme, Suomi, synnyinmaa!
Soi sana kultainen!
Ei laaksoa, ei kukkulaa,
ei vettä rantaa rakkaampaa
kuin kotimaa tää pohjoinen,
maa kallis isien.
Ei laaksoa, ei kukkulaa,
ei vettä rantaa rakkaampaa
kuin kotimaa tää pohjoinen,
maa kallis isien.

Sun kukoistukses kuorestaan
kerrankin puhkeaa;
viel' lempemme saa nousemaan
sun toivos, riemus loistossaan,
ja kerran laulus, synnyinmaa
korkeemman kaiun saa.
viel' lempemme saa nousemaan
sun toivos, riemus loistossaan,
ja kerran laulus, synnyinmaa
korkeemman kaiun saa.