The divine order of the chuckoo

I think that at the moment I have nothing to complain, my thesis is going well and also my school work is ahead of schedule in the tasks I do alone. In the groupwork we are on schedule, so no complaining there. Also my social life in the Netherlands is as good as it used to be, although there are still some Finns missing in it. But luckily I know a country full of them, so if my witdrawal disease gets to bad I can go to there.

But in a weird twist of irony my universaty is holding me back at the moment. I notice I'm working quicker then school planned. I already ready with my litratureresearch and Im ready to start with the actual research and warp it all up. But nooooo school doesn't want that. I have to work according to the program and wait and be social towards my fellow students. Well I don't want to be fucking social, that I attend a social education doesn't mean a thing. I just want to be anti-social and selfish. Just because I can. Sometimes being social is really tiredsome you know. And I only want to be tired after sports.

Since I'm back, I noticed how rushed everyone is. But the fun part is that most people don't do a thing. They are being stressed they have to do this and that and have to that in time, but in the end they miss the deadlines. But they still stress away and cry occasionally. Some people are really stressed by the workload and this is overcomming them and I feel sincerlly sorry for them and I wish I could help them. But then I remember I'm a stuborn anti-social weirdo and I don't want to. When Í'm reminding myself of that, I'm already helping the other. I'm just to social for my own good. On the other hand, I help people with no expatation of getting help back. I help people to satisfy my own selfish desire to be known as the silent social kid. That I can make someone happy during this is their win, not mine. Although I also got happy when I see happy people, so that reaction also satisfies my desires. And so in a weird way, we all are selfish and help other satisfy each others desires.

But sometimes, people have to learn it doen't takes always two to tango. Sometimes you can dance on your own. Because you can't always rely on others. I found that one out myself the hard way. But now it is only one thesis and some months away I haven proven I teach others the skills to ask for help and to help themselfs. Because there already too much people in the world who are disappointed in life, let's show them they can appreciate it again. With al it's weird thingies and ways. Because that is how simple life is, the sum of the positive and negative aspacts. And for us social workers and people it is the task that people always have a little bit more positive things then negatives things, without denying a thing.