donderdag 28 april 2016

The Finnish paradox

Yesterday, the Netherlands displayed one of the few outbursts of nationalism. Appart from winning a sports final, we don't show our national flag and deffintly not go dressed in our national colour. But there is one festivity that has it all: Koningsdag (Kingsday) were we celebrate the birthday of our monarch. This fest is previously known as Koninginnengan (Queensday). But now we have a king so we change the name accordingly. Also we changed the date so it's corsponding with his actual birthday. During the day, we Dutchies are all dressed in orange and Dutch flags are seen everywhere. Also we decorate them with an orange wimple so people can see we celebrate something of great importance to us. This is one of the few displays of national proud we have here.

This is somewhat like a certain place in Europe. A scorum shaped country next to a penis shaped country, Norway and Russia called Finland has also nothing to be proud of. At least if you have to believe the locals called Finns. They say Finland is too cold, too wet and too far north for worth visiting. The Finns always doubting if you don't mix them up with Sweden. No they don't tyhmät Suomelaisia, there are people who like Finland as much as you do, so no need of doubting of questioning. While all Finns are suffering from a nationwide low self esteem, they don't mind to rub there flag into your face on every occesion they have. Finland has more flagdays then citizens and you can't believe the national days they have. Here is a short summary of the important ones (translated): Independance day, day of Finnish language, day of Finnish poetry, Kalevala day, Day of Finnish music, Kantele day, Mämmi day, Sauna day, Day of the moose, Finnish veterans day, Finnish flag day, Midsummer, Vappu, Finnish lake days, Christmas and every Finn has it's own naming day.

No Finns have nothing to be proud of in Finland, they still sincerly wonder why their ancestors decided to settle there and not somewhere else. But still they hang their flags out and display a national proud on every oppertunity they get...

Then you can better live in a country mother nature tries to drow on every occasion she get's, thats why we are quiet and hope she doesn't notice us again.

maandag 4 april 2016

Fångad av en stormvind

Summer is comming! But before that we have springvibes! Everyone gets happy and excited. Also the stores start celling icecream again. We don't have that luxury like the Finns we can buy icecream all year long. So we are happy again. Also most Dutchies dream to go en mass to the westside of the country to lie down with hunderds of others while sunbathing. Yeah the Dutch are getting happier and happier. In al this excitement we all forget the one thing which is as everlasting in the Netherlands as the air we breath: WIND!

We have wind when we go outside to

  • walk
  • run
  • crawl
  • bike
  • roll
  • drive
  • swim
  • jump
  • travel by train
  • wink
  • smile
  • cry
  • confront the snow
  • face the rain
  • fly
  • complain
  • study
  • make pizza
  • dig
  • drill
  • work
  • die
  • give birth
  • to be born
  • play
  • kill
  • chop a tree
  • wank
  • fuck
  • rape
  • murder
  • help
  • safe a life
  • get sick
  • get better
  • come out of the closet
  • get dressed
  • go on a date
  • have a drink
  • going out
  • pass out
  • die out
  • get extincted
  • baptize
  • have periods
  • climb a tree
  • reclaim land from the sea
  • ride a horse
  • fare
  • eat
  • drink
  • all the other things you can do outside

So as you can see we are always confronted by the wind what ever we do outiside, no matter how small the given task is. Wind is always there in our life. So don't get mad if we don't feel the wind in your country. Our wind is sometimes strong enough to knock us from our bike or tipple over a truck. We are also not familiar with the concept of no wind, also the idea of having no wind at all scares us a little. Even we will never ever admitt it. We just say we hate it and secretly adore it. As with winds, to hate is to love.

We dont like the wind what is comming from your ass, that kind of wind you can enjoy when you are alone. But please, not with us We are not that much of a wind lovers.