Door weer en wind

Today I realised that I have only 14 days to go and than another Finland adventure ends for me. Luckily I see my cute little lesbians befor that, so I have something to look forward to for the 14 days. Meanwhile I shouting: I'm not depressed, I'm not depressed, I'm not depressed, I'm depressed, I'm depressed, I'm depressed. So I decided to drove to the sea and jumped in it, heartattack assured. And there was I queueing up for the desk in the afterlife. When it was finally my turn, I noticed that all workers overthere were called St. Peter. But that was not importend I wanted to know if I could go to heaven, purgatory or hell. But St. Peter had a hard time to asses me, since I had a rather weird and strange life. After a brief conversation we both decided that it was best to make a brief tour through  heaven purgatoru and hell to see where if was fitted best.

We first arrived in heaven. It looked like it was build on cloud and the ground felt fluffy like. There was a bright blue sky adorned with fluffy looking clouds. There were also green lushes and forest. On a square like square they where preparing a bancket with golden plates and cutterly and silver cups adorned with jewels. A sad looking woman was playing harp. I noticed in an instance that there were not much people in heaven. When I asked why there are so few people in heaven and if there is nothing good in mankind anymore? Because most people over there where pretty old fassioned looking. St. Peter replied: no, but people forget to live in the moment, it is not importend to live your life in standards that others dictate for you, but you live your life as you wanna do. Everyform and thought in this is allowed as long it's makes you happy. If you find hope in a Bible, Quran or Thora it is ok. But it is also ok if you find this in another religous script or in none. Just do what you wanna do, but don't harm other. Don't do others harm but threat others the way you wanted to be treathed: with respect and dignety. People nowadays don't do that, they have to much expectations of others and speak ill of others. Silently I followed him, thinking how I would judge my life.

At purgatory there were more people. A small orchestra was playing happy music, but it's members looked depressed. It was still situated on a lush field, but with clouds hoovering above it like it could rain any moment. Also there was a wind, while everyone was sparsly clothed. The people over there were walking, not knowing what to do or where to go. In the horizon you could see the shades of an amusment park. So this could be a to bad place, in mater of fact it looked like a better place then heaven, although the suroundings where a little bit more depressive then the beauty of heaven. When I asked what you have to do up to end here, St. Peter calmly replied: if you are a doubtfull person who never can decid or is always on the backdrop, how can we judge you? You do nothing! We can afford an orchestra here because there are more persons doubting than taking descisions. This is not bad, so you don't have to be punnished, but you will also never archieve something. These are people who shout that problems need to besolved, but they do nothing to reach a solution. That is stuff for others, while sometimes you have to take responsibillity for situation. Because it always starts with you, if you see a problem than you have also a possibillity to become part of the solution. Even if your part is small. If you are to involved into matters, is also a bad thing. It is good to take care of your suroundings, but sometimes it is better to gave room for others. So they can do what they can do better then you. So you can do otherthings in which you are better than them. Choose your battles wisely and don't doubt to long. Then you mis life while it's passes you by. While we walked futher I was thinking if took responsibillities for the importing things and for my own actions and don't get involved in things that aren't my business.

Hell was the complete oppisite of what I expected. Of course the suroundings where grim, scarry looking mountains and peaks, red sky a hauling wind. Thunderclouds everywhere. But the people where looking happy and there where lots and lots of happy people. Also a lot of famous people where there. It was most crowded where David Bowie was playing and where Alan Rickman was doing some comidical poetry in his Snape or Marvin the depressed robot character. But he was also singing some songs from Sweeney Todd, and then the songs he had to sing for his role in that movie. I was confused, good music, great preforms and this is called hell. But if he could read my mind St. Peter said: Well first of all, a lot of people go here. So we can get the best artist to entertain a lot of people. Also, most artist deserve to go to heave because they give the world so much joy, comfort, hope and happiness through their songs and plays. But why should you entertain only a few if much others can enjoy your presences? Here they can do what made them happy in life, so they opt for doing also so after their life. Also you should not prejudge in what you can encounter in certain places. The worst places in your mind could be the best place for your heart once you are there. Don't prejudge on stories, but withness it with your own sences, your feeling, your seeing, your hearing, your smelling and your tasting. Then you can make your own judgement instead of thriving on the judgement of others. Give people and things a chance to prove themselfs. Everyone commit sins. Every day you make one. But remember you learn from mistakes and there is no better teacher in life then life itself. But in the end it matters how you deal with them. Because the only error one can make in life is making an error and not trying to correct it when you notice it. This set my thoughts in motion, how deal I with errors, prejustistments and how much do I trust own feelings and sences.

So boy what is gonna be? Heaven, purgatory or hell? This stopped my thinking and thoughts. I don't think I'm ready  for this kind of dessions I replied. I need some more time in the living world, I have too much do there and with 24 years old I'm to young to make this kind of dessions. St. Peter agreed luckily for me and he snapped me back in the living world.

And there was I laying in hole in the ice of the frozen Gulf of Bothnia. Surounded by Swedes and Finns wondering if I liked or not. Well I didn't like the cold of Tursulanjärvi and the Artic ocean, but hey I never jumped into a frozen sea. Once again I regretted that I was prusuade for doing so, but when everyone else did it, I wanted to try. Luckily the grandparents of one of the Finns lived nearby and we enjoyed sauna afterwards. It was an old smoke sauna which the grandfather proudly said his father build for his mother when they where married, because she was suffering from atrosis and the heat would helped her to beat it somewhat. since she had it at a very young age. The sauna survived two wars and was even older than Finland itself. The sauna was half sunken in the earth, but inside I could stand up although I should had grown taller. Each time we decided to take a rest from the sauna, the grandparents enjoyed the sauna, because they said you shouldn't let the warmth get wasted and in this manner everyone could enjoy the sauna. And man we did enjoy it. Even I didn't understand them that well, because they could only speak Finnish and a little Swedish the grandparents where very intressted in me because I came from so far away. Luckily the two Finns helped a lot in translation. Also the Swedes helped sometimes when the grandparents switched to Swedish. They where so extremely kind to even make dinner for us, salmon prepared the Finnish way. Spread on a wooden board while heated next to a fire. Normally this is done outside in summer, but because they haven't forgein guests every day, they maked an exaption and prepared it in winter ate the fire place. Although I was not the only foreigner, the Swedes where that also, I was threathen like the guest of honor. Because I came from so far away and Finland has also it's own Swedes so that isn't so special, to quote the granddad. But Finland hasn't it own Dutch, so that was special. Therefore In their eyes, Ï was also the first foreigner they ever met. Aside from the Swedes they met before in their lifes.

I was really touched by their hospitality and their kindnes. It proved for me that the languagebarier doesn't have to be an obstacle to understand and like people. I felt bad because I had nothing to repay them for the afford of heating the smoke sauna or preparing the food. But the grandmother said I paid them back with my compenay and that they met someone who lives normally 1500km away from where they live. I even thaught them to say hi, bye and enjoy your dinner in a foreign language and they felt blessed they could have this experience still at an old age. I think I'm not the correct person to argue with people who close to the age of 90, but live while they are still in their 70's. Then I can only hope I gain a healthy and happy life as they had and have. Not exepecting the big things in life, but cherish the small ones.